Does anybody else get road rage pushing a cart through Walmart? I do, so I stayed in the truck. I can’t do it. It’s like they intentionally bought 30 cash registers just to keep 2 open. The parking lot was way more fun! All I was missing was some popcorn and sour skittles! The whole experience got me thinking and what was resulted was the list below. Enjoy!

1. People who leave shopping carts out and don’t put them up…especially when they’re two spots down from the cart return!
I really cannot comprehend the level of laziness. It’s up there with sitting the new toilet paper roll on top of the empty roll and not actually changing it. Like, I don’t have enough crayons to explain to you how lazy and inconsiderate you are.

2. People who park really crooked. Do you not get out of your car and look at it as you’re walking away? How do you just leave it there, taking up two parking spots? How are you okay with being mediocre at parking? If you’re a dude, I’m taking your man card.

3. People who use handicap spots and CLEARLY do not need it, especially when there’s very few spots or conditions are poor.
I’m sorry but if you get out in your gym clothes, carrying your gallon of water and it looks like you just got done with leg day at the gym…I’m judging you. They make me wish I had more middle fingers.

4. Express lanes at the grocery store. I know I’m not the best at math (a math problem to me looks something like “If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don’t wear hats.”) but on no planet does 84 items equal “15 Items or less”.
Take your overloaded cart and stand in line reading Us Weekly without buying it and having an internal debate with yourself about buying those Snickers because they’re 2 for 1 like the rest of us law abiding citizens! And YOU, cashier person, tell them to do so.

5. If I let you cross in front of me in the parking lot DO NOT take your dear sweet time. I don’t wanna see you finish that text message and walking or trying to find something in your purse…KNEES TO CHEST homegirl, knees to chest. Get to moving! And I better get a courtesy wave or I’m gonna have to find Jesus again when I get to where I’m going.


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